So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
