I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
