and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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