Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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