omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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