she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
