I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
