Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize