Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
