hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
