He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
