We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
