It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
