So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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