he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize