he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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