scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
