Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
