Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
