real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
