I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize