just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
