sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
