Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
