How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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