update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
