I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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