did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
