did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
