We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
