I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
