you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize