Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
