You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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