Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
