So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
