we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
