Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
