this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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