so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
vagina is talking i cant
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize