He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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