You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i think my cat just said my name.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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