I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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