So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
