i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
