My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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