So drunk its hurt
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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