was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
