all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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