your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
