Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
