is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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