The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My penis needs a shock collar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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