We're facebook friends in real life
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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