if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
