I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
