Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize