What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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