Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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