Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
