There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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