now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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