I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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